so i tried being neutral for a week (here’s what happened)

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part 2 of “your eyes are lying to you”

after part 1, i decided to actually practice what i wrote.

neutral. cctv. observe before reacting.

easy to say. hard to do.

let me tell you about two moments last week.

moment 1: the same indiranagar café, different me

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you remember the guy from part 1? smooth talker. ai startup. big watch. trashed his team.

in part 1, i just listened and left. that was observation. fine.

but last week, i went back to the same café. different guy. same energy.

sitting next to me. starts talking about his “exit strategy” and “mentoring founders.” same perfume. same confidence.

my old self would have been impressed. maybe asked for his number. felt small about my own career.

but this time? i stayed neutral. didn’t lean in. didn’t fake interest. just… existed.

he talked for ten minutes. i nodded. drank my chai.

then he asked: “so what do you do?”

i said: “soc analyst. look at alerts all day.”

his face dropped. no reaction. no follow-up question. just… silence.

then he turned back to his phone.

that was the data.

not his words. not his watch. the moment he decided i wasn’t worth his time because my job title wasn’t shiny enough.

that told me more than his whole monologue.

i finished my chai. left. didn’t feel bad. just felt… clear.

moment 2: office, monday morning

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colleague came to my desk. all smiles. “bro, need your help. just five minutes.”

i said sure.

then he spent twenty minutes complaining about a project he messed up. wanted me to fix his data. but he framed it as “collaboration.”

old me would have jumped in. helped. felt used later.

this time, i paused.

asked: “what have you tried already?”

he said nothing. just wanted me to do it.

i said: “send me the specific numbers you need. i’ll look when i have time.”

he never sent.

again. data.

people who want genuine help? they follow up. they do half the work.

people who want to dump their load on you? they disappear when you ask for basic effort.

the self-validation thing is messy

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i’m not perfect at this.

last week, a friend introduced me to someone. really funny. warm. made me laugh. i felt good around him.

my brain wanted to trust him immediately. that’s the dopamine trap.

but i remembered: neutral. cctv.

so i just watched. didn’t overshare. didn’t commit to anything.

three days later, that same guy asked to borrow money. “just until friday.”

i said no. politely.

he got cold. stopped laughing at my jokes.

that’s not a bad person. just someone with an agenda i didn’t see at first.

if i had validated myself through his approval, i would have felt guilty saying no. maybe even lent the money.

but because my validation comes from inside now? i just said no and moved on.

what i’m still bad at

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sometimes i still react. still get annoyed. still feel impressed by the wrong things.

last night, i saw a reel of some “hustle culture” guy. expensive car. talking about “grinding while you sleep.”

for a second, i felt small. like i’m not doing enough.

then i caught myself.

that guy’s job is to make you feel small. that’s how he sells his course.

i closed the app. made chai. sat on my balcony.

neutrality isn’t a destination. it’s a daily choice.

what actually helps

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honestly? the stillness breathing. not because i’m selling something. because it works for me.

five minutes of just breathing. no phone. no thoughts forced. just… air.

after that, my brain is less sticky. i don’t get caught in other people’s frequencies as easily.

try it if you want. or don’t. your call.

the real point of part 2

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i didn’t write this to give you a checklist.

i wrote this to tell you: i tried the neutral thing. it’s not magic. but it works slowly.

you’ll still feel impressed. still feel annoyed. still want validation.

but the gap between feeling and reacting? that gap grows. just a little. every time you practice.

and in that gap? you get to choose.

not react. not perform. just… be.

your turn now:

have you tried being neutral this week? did it work or did you fail? both are fine.

tell me. i’m curious.

took ai help to clean up typos. my brain works faster than my fingers. xd